[Mr. Mackey] (Eric
Cartman)
And everyone should
get along..
Okay children
quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like
to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr.
Shady
Children quiet
down please
Brian don't throw
that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Shady will
be your new substitute
while Mr. Kaniff
is out with pneumonia (HE'S GOT AIDS!)
Good luck Mr.
Shady
[Eminem]
Hi there little
boys and girls (FUCK YOU!)
Today we're gonna
to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd
like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi
Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got
a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his twelve-year
old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes
to hang out at the local waffle spot
and wait in the
parkin lot for waitresses off the clock
when it's late
and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the
woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they
escaped and they got the cops
the ladies would
all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'til one night
Mrs. Stacey went off the job
when she felt
someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Stacey knew
it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't
knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Slim
Shady is off the vodka
You couldn't even
take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed Stace'
by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her
off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since
the day Stacey went off to wander
they never found
her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
And that's the
story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might
do to you
So see if the
squirrels want any - it's bad for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)
See children, drugs
are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't
believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't
believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell you
how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no
to drugs (that's right)
So you don't act
like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's really
nothin else to say (sing along)
Drugs are just
bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
My penis is the
size of a peanut, have you seen it?
FUCK NO you ain't
seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts,
you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Ecstasy is the
worst drug in the world
If someone ever
offers it to you, don't do it
Kids two hits'll
probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid
is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached,
it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one
years old
After hangin out
with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to
try five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure
will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts
to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll
back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts
tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on Donald's
carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in
the apartment starts laughin at him
"Hey Adam, Zach
is a jackass, look at him!"
cause they took
it too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing
at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's
in a coma, the action is over
and his back and
his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the
story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
So don't even
feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)
See children, drugs
are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't
believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't
believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you
how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no
to drugs (smoke crack)
So you don't act
like everyone else does (that's right)
And there's really
nothin else to say (but umm)
Drugs are just
bad, mmm'kay?
[Eminem]
And last but not
least, one of the most humungous
problems among
young people today, is fungus
It grows from
cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and
you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum!
Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything
slows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes
you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like fat woman
in G-strings with orange hair
(Mr. Shady what's
a G-string?) It's yarn Claire
Women stick 'em
up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
And if you swallow
too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I
say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets,
all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes
from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See drugs are
bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and
dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
But don't be me,
cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
They're gonna
come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise
and hide, cause it'll be my fault
So don't do drugs,
and do exactly as I don't,
cause I'm bad
for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Eminem)
See children, drugs
are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't
believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't
believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'll tell you
how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids say no
to drugs (say no)
So you don't act
like everyone else does (like I do)
And there's really
nothin else to say (that's right)
Drugs are just
bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] (Eric
Cartman)
Come on children,
clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children
(Suck my motherfuckin dick!)
Drugs are just
bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do drugs
(Suck my motherfuckin penis!)
so there'll be
more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Mushrooms killed
Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up,
right now..)
TOUS DROITS RESERVES EMINEM AS MARSHALL MATHERS & AFTERMATH