(Eminem)
May I have your
attention please?
May I have your
attention please?
Will the real
Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will
the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have
a problem here..
Y'all act like
you never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the
floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
and started whoopin
her ass worse than before
they first were
divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return
of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he didn't just
say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
nothing you idiots!
Dr. Dre's dead,
he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
Feminist women
love Eminem {*vocal turntable:
chigga chigga
chigga*} "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walkin
around grabbin his you-know-what
Flippin the you-know-who,"
"Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
Yeah, I probably
got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse,
than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna
get on TV and just let loose, but can't
but it's cool
for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on
your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky,
you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the
message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them
not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they
gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they
hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery
Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing
but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
who cut other
people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}
But if we can
hump dead animals and antelopes
then there's no
reason that a man and another man can't elope
{*EWWW!*} But
if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Women wave your
pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)
I'm Slim Shady,
yes I'm the real Shady
All you other
Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real
Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up,
please stand up?
[Eminem]
Will Smith don't
gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
well I do, so
fuck him and fuck you too!
You think I give
a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics
can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
"But Slim, what
if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So
you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit
me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina
Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next
to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue
over who she gave head to first
You little bitch,
put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute,
but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
I should download
her audio on MP3
and show the whole
world how you gave Eminem VD {*AHHH!*}
I'm sick of you
little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been
sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}
And there's a
million of us just like me
who cuss like
me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like
me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might
be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
[Eminem]
I'm like a head
trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
things you joke
about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference
is I got the balls to say it
in front of y'all
and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
I just get on
the mic and spit it
and whether you
like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it
better than ninety
percent of you rappers out can
Then you wonder
how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny; cause
at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
I'll be the only
person in the nursin home flirting
Pinchin nurses
asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
And I'm jerkin
but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single
person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin
at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
{*HACH*} Or in
the parkin lot, circling
Screaming "I don't
give a fuck!"
with his windows
down and his system up
So, will the real
Shady please stand up?
And put one of
those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to
be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time,
loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus 2X
[Eminem]
Ha ha
Guess there's
a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's
all stand up
TOUS DROITS RESERVES EMINEM AS MARSHALL MATHERS & AFTERMATH